Mikes Final Days With Mother

On Saturday September 11, 2010 at about 3:00pm I picked up mother from the care center (room 219) here in Vernal and took her home to watch the BYU/Air Force football game. My home is just over 2 blocks from the care center so I wheeled her out the door and on the side walk to my house. I wheeled her in the side door of my family room where I have a 72” plasma TV and surround sound which helped her both see the game and especially hear it.

The game was not in BYU’s favor but we had a good time. She was disappointed with the loss. The game was over by 5:30 and I fed her some of my fresh cut green beans cooked with bacon which is one of her favorites. I had a can of Chicken soup of which she liked and she ate half of that and drank a little milk. Denise gave me some peaches on Labor Day for her and I cut one up and she really loved that. She said it was better than ice cream. She said she was full and then told me "you better take me back.” I kidded her that she didn’t want to stay any longer with me and she snapped back with “don’t be silly.” I wheeled her back about 7:00pm and left her to stare out her window but told her I would be back around 10pm to tuck her in which I did. At 10:15pm I knelt and had a prayer with her, kissed and hugged her and told her I loved her and that I would be back in the morning to take her to sacrament meeting at the Care Center branch.

Sunday morning at 9:45am I found her sitting in her wheel chair but for some reason they didn’t have her in a nice dress to go to church which was unusual. She usually looked very nice. They had her in sweat pants and a sweater. Some of the residences go to church like that as it is more comfortable but they usually had mother in a dress. My guess is they didn’t ask her.

I watched her partake of the sacrament unassisted. It was very slow but I let her do it by herself. She even sang a little of each of the hymns but I could tell she was struggling to get a sound out. They had a very nice program planned with President Simper’s sister and daughter both speaking and a special musical number….a solo on the harp which was very nice.

I wheeled mother back to her room about 10:45am and left her to go to my ward sacrament meeting at 11:00. I told her I was leaving for Las Vegas around 2:00pm on a business trip and would stop in and tell her good-by.

I got away from home later than planned leaving at 3:00pm and stopped in and spent about 15 minuets with mother. I had cut up another peach and fed each piece to her and she really enjoyed it! I told her I would be coming back late from LV around 11:00pm on Tuesday and asked her if she wanted me to stop in and see her. She said yes. I gave her a long hug, kissed her and told her I loved her and would miss her while I was gone. She said she liked my hugs as I would put my cheek to hers and hold her for a good 30 seconds. She said she loved me and would miss me as well. I told her I’ll see you late Tuesday and she said, OK. Then out the door I went. I noted on Saturday and Sunday that she had to force her voice to make a sound. It seemed to really take an effort.

I got out of LV late and home at just be fore midnight on Tuesday so I decided not to stop in and see her as it was very late.

I got to sleep around 1:00am and up at 6:45am then out the door to the office at 8:15am on Wednesday September 15, 2010. I wanted to stop by and see mother but I was late and had lots to do as I work as an ordnance worker in the Vernal Temple from 3:00pm to 9:45pm every Wednesday and had lots to catch up on at the office before leaving for the temple.

I left the office about 1:00pm stopped at Smiths and bought some pre-cooked chicken for me and Val. I got home about 1:30pm, ate, watered the flowers in the yard got ready and left home for the care center to see mother at 3:00pm. I usually only stay a few minuets but she wasn’t doing very well so I decided I would need to stay as long as it took when I felt confident she was ok. I found her cannula was skewed off to one side and was completely out of the left nostril. I noticed the bed controls had fallen on the bottom part of the tube thus pulling on it around her face. I fixed that.

I couldn’t tell what the trouble was but it took a little effort to arouse her. I put my arms around her back and lifted her up from the bed slightly to arouse her as just my touch didn’t work as normal. Her back felt a little warm and moist. I said Mother, Mother a few times and finally she rolled her eyes and looked at me and smiled that beautiful smile I so much enjoyed. She didn’t say anything and I asked her if she could hear me. She still didn’t respond and I thought it was a little odd as I could see she had her new hearing aids in place. It looked like her face was a little flushed which usually indicated to me she was in pain so I asked her 3 or 4 times if she was hurting. She finally mumbled ah huh. I asked her where she was hurting and she mumbled something I couldn’t understand so I asked her to repeat it and again I couldn’t understand. I got right up to her mouth with my ear and told her I couldn’t understand and then she said it fairly plain, “my bottom hurts.” She always said that about her back side which I believe meant her lower back because of her spinal stenosis. I asked her if they had given her a pain pill and she said, “I don’t know.” I told her I would go find out. The nurse told me they only give her one if she asks for it of which I have told them many times that she won’t ask and they have to ask her every 4 hours. It was frustrating as I go through that every time with them. Anyway the aid quickly got her a lortab and took it to her while I told the nurse (Male nurse named Jo Jo) that I would call Doctor Arnold in the morning and get orders for a regular dose so I wouldn't have to find her suffering in pain.

I went back to the room and asked mother if they brought her a pill and she said ah huh.
I gave her a drink of water from the straw and decided to stay a few more minuets. I gave her a stick of red licorice that I had purchased for her in her night stand. I bought that for her on Saturday to eat and I could see no one else had given her any of which I asked her why she hadn’t asked anyone to give her some and she said she didn’t think about it. She bit off a bite, chewed it and I gave her some more water to wash it down. I then put the stick of licorice in her right hand and told her to eat the rest of it if she wanted.

The button to call the nurse was laying next to her and I put it across her waist and told her to please push it if she needed anything. She said, “OK.” Then she said, “I missed you!” When she said that I knew she remembered I had been gone for a few days. I said, “I missed you too.” I told her I was sorry I didn’t check in last night because it was too late. I told her I got home at midnight. But I would make up for it tomorrow. I told her I had a nice visit with Kathy and Robyn and took some pictures I wanted to show her. I told her I would bring my lap top computer tomorrow and show her the pictures. She said, ok. I asked her if she wanted me to come and see her after the temple at 9:45pm and she said uh huh. I hugged and kissed her again and told her, I’ll see you tonight.” She said, “OK.” I told her I didn’t want her to lay there in pain at all and to please push the button to call the nurse. She said, “OK.” I again said I’ll see you after the temple tonight, waved to her and walked away......

I was 30 minuets late getting to the temple arriving at 3:30pm. At 5:05pm Brother Charles Beede, assistant recorder handed me a note to call home ASAP. I spoke with Val and she told me that the care center called and told her that mother had taken a turn for the worse. She had congestive heart failure and they needed to know if I wanted to have them take her to the emergency room at the hospital. She thought it best that I go over there and give them instructions. I quickly excused myself from my temple assignment, changed and drove back to the care center. As I a drove up, Val and MJ were also driving up. We went in together to see mother. I sat next to her on the edge of the bed at about 5:15pm and put my arms around her lifting her slightly trying to wake her. Her breathing was very labored and I could hear a gurgling sound with each breath. Her eyes were open but I could tell she was not seeing nor was she coherent. I kept saying, “mother, can you hear me?” It was obvious after saying this a few times that she couldn’t.

I walked down to the nurses station and spoke with Jo Jo. He was on the phone with Dr. Arnold. After hanging up he said they had just given her morphine for pain and that they needed to have directions about resuscitation should she need it. Val was at my side and asked me if we had a DNR order and I told her and Jo Jo that she had a living will of which they should have a copy of. Jo Jo opened her binder file and showed me that they had nothing. He said without an order they would be obligated to try and resuscitate her if her heart stopped. I told him I had a copy at my office and that I would go get it as I knew mother would not want that.

As I drove to the office I spoke with both Greg and Robyn on the phone to inform them mother was in trouble and briefly what was going on.

I returned with the documents which included a medical Power of Attorney giving me the responsibility to speak for her. He asked me what my wishes were should she stop breathing and I told him not to resuscitate her. To just let her go naturally.

I told him that two of the aids wanted to move her to a private room (Val had mentioned this to me when I came back) so we could have privacy while mother passed away. Jo Jo said he had seen many people with water on the lungs and that with the Lasix medication they gave her it would drain the water so that she would probably be ok. He said I don’t think your mother is dying right away and that there is plenty of time. He did however say it might be nice to have her in a private room in case a family member wanted to stay the night with her.

About that time Val came running up to us and said she noticed an aid had just checked her oxygen level and it was at 65%. She said her fingers were turning blue. Jo Jo quickly ran from the counter with me and Val to mother. Robyn phoned me while I was walking back to her room. I informed him what was going on. Jo Jo put the stethoscope on her chest, listened for a few seconds and took me out into the hall. He said, “wow, she is going fast. I can’t believe it!” I told Robyn I would call him back in a few minuets as it looked like Mother was fading very fast. I went back in and sat on the bed with mother. Her breathing was very labored with breaths every 6-8 seconds and very heavy. The gurgling sound was very apparent and I knew she was drowning or suffocating. I could see most of her breaths were coming out of her mouth and not her nose so she was getting very little of the oxygen. I took both of her hands in mine. They were both limp. I continued to hold them tight for a couple of minuets watching her breath.

The aids came in and were trying to get her ready to move to another room. I let go of mothers hands and stood by the bed, turned and asked the aids if they were going to move the whole bed. They said yes. I looked back at mother to watch her chest move and didn’t see it move again. I reached down and took her left wrist checking for a pulse while still watching to see if her chest moved again. It didn’t. I couldn’t feel a pulse. The aids were unhooking the power from the bed and tucking in the blankets on the bed to make sure it was ready to move, talking to themselves. At that time I said, “I think she is already gone.” The one aid said, “her breaths are pretty far apart” and I said well I have been watching for the last few seconds and she hasn’t taken another breath since I stood up. One quickly ran into the hall calling for Jo Jo. He was there it seemed like in about 10 seconds, put the stethoscope on her chest, looked up at me and said, “I’m sorry. She is gone.”

I can’t say for absolute certainty that she took her last breath when I was sitting next to her on the bed but I think that is the case because I don’t recall her chest moving after I stood. I hope that was the case as I wanted to be holding her as she left this mortal life. If not it was very, very close. Had the aids not been in such a hurry to get us to a private room I would have still been sitting by her side when I noticed her stop breathing.

Mother’s head was turned to the right with her mouth open and her head slightly tilted back. Her bed was in a semi prone position or slightly sitting up position. There was no notice of pain in her face. She simply stopped breathing. It was very quick and very peaceful.

Val and MJ were at the foot of the bed when mother passed on getting out of the way of the two aids. I was either sitting on the bed or had just stood up by her side at that moment. I called Robyn and asked him to call everyone as I was pretty shook up. I tried to call Bill but no answer. I called Bill Jr. and told him and asked him if he had his mothers cell number to please call and get the message to Bill.

I noticed at that time mother had a red color around her lips and inside her mouth. I looked closer as I thought it could be blood but on closer inspection I could see it was small pieces of red licorice. I then remembered the licorice stick I had given her. I checked the bed around her to see if there was any left as I wanted to know if she had eaten all of it after I left and I found none in site. Mother had eaten the entire stick of licorice after I left at 3:25pm. I believe that was the last thing she ate.

The 3 of us spent a few minuets with mother giving her kisses and hugs and shedding many tears. Mazie (MJ’s wife) came in shortly there after or about 6:30 as MJ sent her a quick text the moment Grandma passed away. She was at class and came to be with us. We then gathered all of her belongings in the room and began taking them to the vehicles. MJ, Mazie and I carried them out while Val packed and cleaned out the drawers. The aids came in and asked if they could prepare mother to be transported by the funeral director (they called him upon her passing). They asked me if it was OK that Val and I were present and I said it would be OK. They removed her clothes and put her in a gown and also put a towel under her chin to keep her mouth closed which gave her a much more peaceful look. If I remember correctly mothers eyes were closed on passing.

It was a very sacred feeling of peace. I felt both relieved and torn with sadness of loosing my precious mother. I was so happy for her as I am now. But wow…..is it hard to say good by. I will write later about the events following this moment in time when mother left her mortal body. As I told her many, many times I can never repay her for all she has done for me. I love her with all my heart and will miss her terribly. She knows that as I told her how hard it would be for me when the end comes. She always told me I would be OK. She is right. I am OK but it is still hard seeing her go. I am however so very happy for her. I hated all the cold lonely nights I would have to leave her home alone. How I hated the many times I walked out the door late at night knowing she would be all alone. I hated it even more leaving her at night in the care center all alone with out any way for her to get a drink of water move about or anyone to be with her.

I don’t have those feelings any more. It is truly a relief to know that Dad is taking care of her now and how very happy she must be. She deserves every bit of peace and happiness available as she hated being alone…..for 15 years….and now she will never be alone again……for the rest of eternity! What a blessing that it is!! I’m so very happy for my mom!

Val and I talked about how blessed we were that both she and MJ were there as well. Val had a bad headache Wednesday morning and should have stayed in bed the rest of the day and night. She hadn't planned on going to the care center unless I called but just after hanging up the phone with me MJ came in the house. This was very unusual for him to come home that time of night. Val then asked him if he would drive her over to the care center as she felt prompted to be there. He said he would. How grateful that the 3 of us were there as we have been close to her for the past 27 years (of course MJ only 22 years).

I since found out that Ervin Haws was there to see her shortly afternoon. Mother's "good neighbor" Chris Andrews told me that she was there around 2:00pm and stayed for 30 minuets. I was there at 3:00 for about 25 minuets and Marilyn Hunting said she was there at 4:00pm and stayed until 4:30. Both Marilyn and Chris said they spoke with Mom but by the time I came back at 5:15pm she was incoherent. What a great blessing for mother to have these many visits just before leaving.

Visit From Greg and Family

VeAnn, Ryan, Barbara, Sadie (age 2), Heather and I went to Vernal Saturday, August 28th. We arrived at the Uintah Care Center at 1:45. Mom was in bed asleep. I gently touched her arm and she opened her eyes and immediately smiled. I asked her if she knew who I was and she said, "You're Greg". She knew who all of us were. Mom enjoyed our conversation but didn't say much, not that she didn't want to. She was alert and really enjoyed Sadie. I didn't know what would happen on that day because the last conversation I had with Mike was that mom wasn't doing well. We spent about 45 minutes with her and then let her rest because she wanted to go for a ride up Dry Fork Canyon. She had already been to her house that morning with Brad and we thought it best for her to rest before the ride. We got there at about 3:15 but it takes some time for a bathroom break and check out so we left at 4:00. The ride up the canyon was enjoyable. Barbara and Sadie stayed at mom's because of the long ride we already had and the longer ride we would have going back home that night. Mom didn't say much and she dozed a little from time to time. It rained a little in the canyon and we stopped to take a picture of a beautiful rainbow at the Dry Fork Settlement on the way back. We got back at 6:00 and VeAnn and Barbara made a wonderful dinner of zucchini Souffle', fresh green beans and watermelon with milk. Mom seemed to really enjoy the meal. She ate third and fourth helpings of beans. I was pleased to see that she mostly handled the fork herself. It was with some struggle but she did without a complaint. I wasn't sure if I should offer to feed her but it all worked out. I feel quite bad about how tired out she seemed when we returned her to the Care Center. I pushed her in the wheel chair from her house to the Care Center. It is about as hard that way as to load her in the car and drive her. It was dark and very bumpy on the gravel drive East of her home. She groaned some with the jostling but it was better on the sidewalk. It was very breezy and she called out when the wind blew the corner of the blanket off her lap and was dragging on the ground unbeknownst to me. It was hard to say goodbye as I gave her a kiss goodnight. I so much enjoyed the day with my mother. We arrived back in Kaysville after midnight. Before we left Vernal, Mike told me that Friday and Saturday mom was alert and more aware of things than anytime since she arrived back in Vernal on July 29th. He said he had a "conversation" with mother on Friday and they talked about how she had behaved earlier in the week.

Greg.

New Address

Grandam has now moved back to vernal. Sorry that I have not updated this site lately. She is living at the Uintah care center. Mike lives just a block away and visit her often. He doesn't have to load her in his car but can just wheel her to and from. She enjoys the company and is doing as good as can be expected. She has had problems with her thyroid acting up but she is receiving good care.

Moms Visit

VeAnn, Heather and I enjoyed our visit with Grandma Saturday and Sunday, July 24th and 25th. I did not know how I would feel seeing her in the care center but was soon relieved. She brightened up and greeted us with the smile I have always known. She doesn't try to say much but is always glad to have visits from family. We stayed with her on Saturday for an hour and shared pictures from Teresa and letters. Grandma was interested in how Teresa is doing, seemed connected and knew who we were. While at the center, Kathy's mother and her sister, Teresa came for a visit. We all enjoyed our conversation with Grandma. Before we left we went for a walk around the center and grandma wanted to go out on the patio. As I wheeled her through the door and outside the blast of the 113 degree day hit us all like a furnace blast and that ended our outside experience. Grandma was dressed warm and didn't like how hot it was outside. On Sunday we helped load her in Teresa's car for the trip to Robyn's home and then on to church. She was up, dressed in black slacks, shoes and a light sweater and already in the wheelchair at 9:45 when we arrived at the care center. Her hair looked well brushed and again she was happy to see us. I found it challenging in moving her from the wheel chair to the car but we did okay and she didn't complain even one time. She so much enjoyed being at church, took the sacrament by herself and listened to Wesley's talk of his mission experiences with interest. I asked her afterwords if she was able to hear and she gave the standard answer, "not much". The hearing aids continue to be a challenge for her. Robyn gave one of them to me and showed me how to clean the contacts but I never could get it to work. Robyn said he would take it in to have it fixed on Monday. One lesson my mother taught me over the years is to bear our burdens with patience and that is what I noticed with our visit. She is very accepting with her situation and allows others to help her, even though it isn't comfortable nor really enjoyable. She has always been the one giving service to others and now it is time to accept it in return. She allowed me to feed her lunch after Sacrament meeting and was grateful for the help. VeAnn also helped care for her needs. It was difficult to say good-bye Sunday afternoon but we really enjoyed the few hours we had with grandma.

Greg

Wesley Returns/Nicholas Call

Boy, things are sure popping here in Mesquite and Grandma is the center of attention! As you know Wesley cam home Wednesday and Thursday Nicholas received his call see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INiy-66TDSs We are having fun with Grandma this weekend. I have all my family here and we will have a picture with her and everyone so check back.

By the way Grandma got rid of the boot. I went to the Dr's office Wednesday with her and the surgeon released her from his care. She has healed. Yea!!

Robyn

Visit With Grandma

On Sunday, July 18th, Dustin, Damien, and I had the opportunity to visit with Grandma. Grandma is still just as pretty as ever and had the cutest smile on her face when she was wheeled in to her room and saw us sitting there. We had planned on going to church with her at the care center, but were late and didn’t make it, so we waited for her in her room. She didn’t know we were coming and so she was quite surprised to see us!
It was a hard thing for me at first to see my Grandma with slow movements and a slower ability to comprehend what is being said and a tougher time talking. She’s not much of a conversationalist these days and she had a hard time hearing, but it was fun to talk to her. I asked her about when she would get her boot off and she said hopefully in a day or two, so since a day or two has come and gone since we saw her, maybe it’s off now. We talked about upcoming family events: Wesley coming home, MJ getting married, and Jordan getting married. She knew all about those events and seemed excited for them. I mentioned Teresa coming home in a couple of months, but she didn’t seem to know much about that and I don’t know if it’s because she didn’t hear me or if she had a bit of a memory lapse. I got the feeling that she knew who I was even though she never said my name and that she knew Damien was my son. When it was time to leave and we were giving Grandma hugs goodbye she said to Dustin as he hugged her, “I don’t believe we’ve met. Have I met you before?” Dustin said, “A few times.” I said, “Grandma, this is Dustin. I am married to Dustin.” She said, “Well, I knew that, but I don’t ever recall meeting him.”
She loved to watch Damien play. She said she loved having him there because she doesn’t get to see many small kids. I asked Grandma if I could get a picture of her with Damien and she said sure if he’ll let her hold him. Damien did great! He sat on Grandma’s lap for quite some time and she kept hugging and kissing him. So precious!
We mentioned to Grandma that Uncle Robyn said she would be going back to Vernal at the end of the month if the doctor says it’s ok. She said that she thought Uncle Robyn was a skeptic for thinking she could go back to Vernal so soon. I think she meant that he was optimistic!
One thing I loved to see was that Grandma seemed very HAPPY! We were so glad we were able to stop and see her!

-Janell

Change Comming!

I wanted to up-date you after Mother got her "boot" off but that has not happened yet. She had an appointment yesterday but the Dr had to reschedule. So she has to put up with it for a few more days. I have not seen the wound but I believe that it has almost healed.

I went to visit her this morning to give her Bill and Sharon's letter and to see how she is progressing with therapy. She is trying hard to do what is asked but with the boot on her progress is slow. The shape of the bottom of the boot causes her to not have as much support on her right heel so she has a fear of falling backwards while walking. We hope to get the boot off soon and then we will see how she does.

The change that is coming is that her Medicare and supplement is running out on the 21st of this month. It looks like she will still need the type of care that she is getting so we will take her to Vernal on the 29Th of this month when we go to MJ's wedding. The Uintah Care center is a bit cheaper so we feel that this will be a good move for her.

Robyn

Healing

First of all great news. I was with Mother on Sunday to bring her to enjoy Sunday with us. the changed her bandage. I check it out. All I could see from the wound was a scab and some redness. As far as it looked to me is that it has almost healed!!

Saturday I went to the care center to bring Mother home with me for the day...if fact we had her over for 3 days in a row and we watched the fireworks together on Sunday. They had them at the Eureka Casio just next door to Highland Manor. We had 3 fun days with her. I spent the weekend painting my home and remodeling my kitchen. I had Mother help!

She sure cant get up and move around very good. I think that taking the boot off will help some but I just don't think that she will be able to walk much on her own. She is trying but it is slow progress.

Robyn

Grandmas Banner

After work Kathy, Anne and I visited Grandma and took the big banner that everyone made at the reunion. It is hard to describe how stunned and shocked Grandma was when we unrolled the banner in her room. It stretched out into the hall. The nurses even came in to see what all the fuss was about. It has been such a long time that I have seen mother smile like that. It made her day. We then rolled it back up and started unrolling it from the start in front of her. I read her all the comments and she looked at the pictures and read along with me. Many times I had to stop because of how touching each expression of love was for her. This was very hard for me to do. Grandma just kept smiling for a very long time. She was so touched. Thanks for whoever came up with the idea and everyone that participated.

She also went to her Dr apointment early Monday. She reports the she is healing fine and making progress!

Robyn

From Bill

We drove to Robyn’s after Church Sunday, June 13th. Robyn had picked up Mom and had her at his house when we arrived. When we first walked into Robyn's and saw Mom I was pleased with how good she looked, but surprised with her wide-eyed stare that kind of had a wondering look. I was concerned that she might not know us. But those concerns were groundless. She seemed sharp of mind, but doesn't like to talk much. Most of answers to questions were short and usually yes or no. She was very slow in eating and had difficulty getting her food to her mouth. As the evening wore on, I was most pleased with her attitude. She seems content, accepting, and happy. She was very pleasant to be around, something that has been lacking the last few visits I have had with her. Now she seems to be the wonderful mother I have known all my life. Robyn and I loaded her in his car and took her back to the assisted living. I was not looking forward to moving her from her wheel chair because of previous experience and her crying out in pain. But either it didn't hurt this time or she didn't let on. When we got to the Manor and checked in with them, we found that that she has a Doctor's appointment at eight in the morning. There was some confusion if it would be Mountain Standard Time or Pacific Standard Time. We concluded in would be PST and that she would have to leave at six in the morning PST. That's when we would have to leave if we wanted to see her. On Monday morning I was amazed. Everyone was up and ready by 6 PST and we were on our wat to Highland Manor. As it turned out, Mom was eating breakfast and the appointment wasn't until 9 MST and so that meant that they were not going to transport her until 7 PST. We were hoping to visit with her right after she finished breakfast, but she stayed in the bathroom until it was time to go. The driver of the van, a very efficient young lady, loaded her in the front seat, again without complaint, and we followed to the medical center which is right next to the temple in St. George. I went in with her while the nurse took off her dressing and prepared her for the Doctor to look at it. Mom did cry out and say her back hurt as she was transferred from the wheel chair to the bed. She winced with pain as the nurse pulled up the sock on her left leg--it was a support hose but wasn't pulled up to the knee like it should have and was cutting off the circulation in her left leg. That needs to be watched. Sammie was the name of the nurse and has two boys on missions. Dr. Van Gils (known as Bishop Van Gils on Sunday) was so very nice and gentle with Mom. He said there is progress, but was concerned with the swelling of the leg. He says the blood circulation going from the heart to the wound is excellent, but the return trip from the wound is not good. She has to keep her foot elevated. Mom hasn't been doing that--just sitting in the wheelchair with her feet down which is the worst thing that she could do. The other thing that she needs to do is eat protein. For example, this morning she ate the oatmeal and left the eggs untouched. She needs protein for healing of the wound, but her constant worry about her weight and having her idea of a healthy diet won't let her eat the things that will help her heal. They put in their notes to the Manor to give her protein shakes. Those two things need to change with her--elevate the leg and good nutrition. I called Robyn and told him to check on that at the Manor. I also told the driver from the Manor and she said she could get a wheel chair that would prop her leg up. I talked strongly with Mom and told her what she had to do and asked her to promise me that she would. Well, you can guess how that went over--she refused to promise me any thing. I wheeled her out in the parking lot of the church across from the medical center and to the East of the Temple and had the driver take a picture of all of us with her. I can't even begin to express my emotions as I hugged her, gave her a kiss and told her good-bye. I have been fighting back the tears for two days now. Will I ever see her again in this life?

Bill

Up-date on the wound

Last Wednesday, mother had a visit at the wound clinic in St George. Mothers Surgeon, Dr Reber has a partner that is runs the wound clinic so it is a nice marriage. Mother sure seemed happy about her chances now. I visited with the nurses about what is expected now. Mother wears a mechanical wound pump that keeps the wound clean and dry. (I could be wrong about its function but that is how I understand how it works). It has a small 1/4" tube that is inserted into the wound. The hope is that the skin that has sluffed off the wound and wont close and also wont permit new skin growth will die so new tissue can grow in its place. Really it is this "sluffing skin" that is causing the problems. They also change the bandages every 3 days. I think this new approach is very positive.

Brad, Sonjia and family were here this weekend. They spent a good amount of time with mother bringing her to My home on both Saturday and Sunday. Sunday we cooked a turkey that Richard and Rachel provided. Mother ate a big plate of food and I bet that was the best meal she has had since her fall. I know that she enjoyed the day. Thanks Brad and Sonjia for spending the time!

Your faith and prayers are working!

Robyn

Memorial Day Weekend and Dr Apointment

Memorial Day Weekend was good for Mother for visiting. David and Melanie, Richard and Rachael and children along with Nicholas, Kathy Anne and I visited Her. Brother David gave a surprise visit on Monday. He made a special effort to get mother from the care center and bring her my home that day. She came just in time for lunch. We had a house full. I think that she really enjoyed getting out.

Today I visited with her and Dr Reber. Things were not too promising. He could see the plate that is attached to her bone through the wound. He says that when that happens tissue just wont attach to the plate and it will have to be removed. He made an appointment at the wound center in St George for her tomorrow. The only hope is to buy more time for her bone to heal so he can take the plate out. This will require another surgery. He said that there is an outside chance that tissue will begin to grow on the plate. If that is the case then she will heal and not need surgery. He also took a culture last week. The results came back that she has what he called a bug in the wound. He showed me a report of the different kinds of antibiotics that will attack the bug and kill it. They ran test with different kinds of antibiotics so he got to pick the best one.

Mother was very discouraged with the news. She was able to see her leg. She looked very concerned and distraught from both the report and to see her leg. I tried to give her words of encouragement but inside my heart ached for her. Her situation is a tough one. She said "I guess I will just have to take what is handed to me".

Please continue as you have done to remember her in your prayers.
Robyn

Wound up-date

I spoke with Keith, the RN on staff at Highland Manor. He is also the wound specialist at the care center. He is very knowledgeable with the treatment that is requested by Mothers Surgeon. He knows all about the special wound ointment "Amara" that is to be placed on the wound daily along with fresh bandages and a compression sock.

I really felt relieved to know he was on the job.

Robyn

Dr Visit

The visit with the Surgeon, Dr Reber went O.K. He took x-rays again. He says that her leg is healing just fine. The wound on the other hand is a problem. It is not closing. He says that he will try to get it to close this week. The care center will have to do what he asks to help it heal. I will follow-up with them to make sure they are doing what is asked. We should know more on Tuesday her next appointment. If it is not closing then she will have to go to a wound clinic in St George. If that doesn't work then Dr Reber will have no choice but to take the screws and plate out. This would require another surgery. We need to keep her in our prayers. If it comes to the Surgery the hope would be that her leg is healed enough that after removing the plate and screws she could walk without any concern for another break. Also Mother had a very hard time with anesthesia so we do not want it to get to that point.

That is what I know. Please call me if you want more information.

Robyn

Progress

I visited with Mother last night. She seemed a bit down wondering if she will walk on her own. so today I wanted to know first hand. I was with her during today's therapy session. While she still needs someone to help her get up and make sure she doesn't fall, she can walk on her own with a walker. She is very weak. She could only manage walking about 30'. She won't win any races but she is trying.

Robyn

Hard Work

Grandma Loved all the cards.

Kathy and I stopped by last night to deliver more Mother's day cards and letters. Thanks Tori, that was a beautiful poem. Grandma loved it. Jeniffer and Jeremy and kids, you also made her day. She also had several other cards from other family members. Her room is decorated well with the cards. Any notes or a call always help her a bunch, and lifts her spirits.

We are now shooting for mid June for her to go back to Vernal. Hopefully she can attend this years reunion and Bill and Sharon's Sacrament meeting before they leave on their mission.

Her incision on the right side of her foot still has not healed. I will keep you posted.

Her left hearing aid is not working so I took it in to have it repaired. I am just leaving to pick it up to take it to her.

Mothers Day Card From Jeremy & Jenifer & Family

Dr Visit

Mother and her card From Teresa














Dr Reber reviewing the new x-rays

Tuesday Mother visited with the doctor. He took x-rays of her ankle. It is healing just fine. Her incision on the other hand is having a hard time. It has a few places that is red and the incision has not closed. the Dr has put her on antibiotics for a week and some antibiotic topical ointment. He says that for someone her age this is not too uncommon.

She is still making good progress. She is still not where she was psychically before the accident. That is getting up and moving around. She cant take the boot on or off by her self and she cant shuffle her foot as before when she walks, so it is hard for her to walk. She has two more months with the boot.

Mike and I had a conversation about how long to keep her here. Perhaps this is the best place for her until the boot comes off.

Robyn

Happy Mothers Day

Mother had a good day for Mothers day. We all spent time with Her Sunday. She reports that she received calls from many of you. Bill and I got her a new phone. She says that she can hear better with it than the old one. David and Deenie came down to visit. They arrived Sunday and left this morning after visiting with the therapist and mother.

She attended Church at the care center Sunday and also Relief Society. She seemed happy with all the activity. She sure likes the calls and the visits. Please keep calling her. I have been frustrated knowing that she is just sitting in her room all alone. Often with nothing to do. For some reason she chooses not to have the TV on so it is very quiet. I think that she cant operate the remote control very well.

Tomorrow she meets with her surgeon, Dr Reber. This is an important day. We want to see if he will let her go home. Also we need to talk with the therapist to see when he will finish with her. As much as we want her to go back to Vernal, I think that we need to take advantage of the care she is getting here as long as she is benefiting from it.

I will post new information tomorrow afternoon so check back.

Robyn

Mikes Visit!

Yesterday Mike stopped by on his way to Las Vegas for meetings. We visited mother together. I got the chance to inspect her new walking boot. Mom kept saying "the instructions are on the dresser" and insisted that I read them. Wow! A boot with instructions. It had them in 7 different languages. Yikes! It is simple really, fastened with Velcro. But grabbing the 8 or 9 very wide Velcro straps is another issue. It took me some time to pull the straps loose. I have no idea how mother will be able to take it on and off.

Thats all for now. Don't forget mothers day!

Cast Off

Mother Ty Wakefield and her walker...she is determined!

The title of this post is Cast Off. Not to be too cute but we are getting closer to the "Cast Off" point where Mother can leave. Yesterday at 1:00pm she met with Dr. Reber and had her stitches and cast removed. She is happy to have her cast removed. She now has to wear a "boot" for two months. This is only for daily activities. While in bed, sitting or showering she can take it off.

I visited with her therapist today. She is making great progress. She can stand on her own and get into bed on her own. She is much slower than before but she is making great progress. She can use her walker now, but the boot keeps dragging on the floor. She will have some adjusting to do.

We visit with her daily. Most of our activities are watching the Jazz games and eating ice cream.

Robyn

Tooth Repaired!!

Great Day......I called Dr Alex Blazzard about Mothers tooth. He has an office around the corner from Highland Manor. He came over after work and cemented the tooth back in place. No charge.....thanks Alex. Mother was eating at the time. I wondered if he could do it then but he did and she was very relieved and happy. She is eating better but with a measure of complaining about the food.

Ice Cream

I'm sure most of you know how much Mother likes ice cream. Last night Kathy, Anne and I went to visit Mother. We watched the Jazz game and at half time I asked Mom if she would like some ice cream. She just wrinkled her face and said no. So I left anyway and went to Smiths for some. I got chocolate swirl, some plastic bowls, spoons and something to dip it with. Mother's eyes lit up. I helped her eat hers. That made her day. She seemed kind of down when we got there but after the ice cream she was much happier.

Earlier yesterday I stopped by to check on her. Her right hearing aid was not working so I took it to a specialist here in town to have it cleaned and checked out. Also she had a crown fall off her back lower tooth. Pour Mother when it rains it pours.

I just got back from visiting her today (Thursday) and brought back her hearing aid all repaired and in working order. The Dr that fixed it for her only charged $5. What a deal.

I have a dentist that I know very well that I hope will be willing to stop by her room to glue her crown back on. I left a message for him today.

Mother seems much happier today. I think that the depression medication she is taking is helping.

She is now able to put all her weight on her leg and walk. I dont think she can take many steps yet but with the help of her therapist she is making great progress. She said it is painful for her but she does what they ask.

Dr Visits

Mothers first appointment was with Dr Reber, her surgeon. He said the leg is healing fine and the stitches could come out now but he decided not to rush it because of her age. He left them in and put a new cast on her leg. It is the same as the old one placed last week. He wants her to begin to walk on it. I will speak to the therapist about this and make sure he has new orders for her rehab. She will have an appointment next week with him. I think he will put a walking cast on at time.

The visit with Dr Empy went well. We voiced concerns about depression. He had prescribed a light dose about 10mg I think. He said he would double this to 20mg. We also talked about the effects of the stroke and her eating and talking. She will continue to receive treatment for that. Her blood pressure was good but a bit on the high side, 145 over 85.

I'll keep you posted with how she is doing so check back.

Robyn

My teeth don't work

I had a nice visit with Mother Sunday. We watched the second half of the Jazz game.

There are 2 important things that I found out:

1) Mother says that her teeth don't work. I asked what she means by that and she says because of the stroke she cant chew her food. Because of this it is hard for her to eat not to mention that she doesn't like the food they are preparing for her. I advised the nurse about this. They report that she is going to a speech therapist for treatment. The will also look to help her with eating.

2) Some of you have called to visit with Mother. She reports that it is very had to for her to talk. So she doesn't want to answer the phone. When Greg called he reported that Mother couldn't hear very well. I think she can hear fine but just is having a very hard time communicating. I told her that we would keep calling her but to do her best and we would do all the talking.

If you want to talk with Mother just understand her problem talking. I wonder if she will answer the phone because it is hard for her.

I really feel bad that she has such a hard time talking. She told me that she has not called any of her friends because of this. She really feels alone.

I also visited with her last night. She is struggling with being in bed. She wanted me to fix her pillow. I just had a hard time getting it adjusted how she wanted it. I made several attempts to help her. She told me that it was better but I wonder if I ever helped.

She has two Dr apts today. One at 1:00 with her surgeon. He will take out the stitches and put a new ankle walking cast on. The other appointment is at 3:00 with Dr Empy, her medical Dr. We will discuss her problems with depression, talking and the effects of the stroke.

That's all for now.

Robyn

Mikes Visit

Mike came down Wednesday and left this morning. I asked him for his update for the time hew was with Mother.

I talked with the RN at Highland Manor today. She said that every new patient should have a Dr to check them in. We did that from the Hospital but they still want her Dr check on her. We have not done that yet. We have an appointment set up for Tuesday April 27 @ 3:00 He will let us know how the medication and she is doing.

Robyn

Dr's Visit

I just got back from Mothers doctor appointment. Good news! Mother is healing just fine. There is very little swelling. He took off her "L" shaped splint that was placed on her ankle and leg at the time of surgery. He also took an x-ray of the leg. He put a cast on the leg from just below the knee down. She will wear this for one week. Then she will come back and have the stitches and the cast removed. He will then put a ankle cast on that she will have for two more weeks. She can begin standing and using the leg after next week. So mother will have 3 more weeks down here before she can go back to Vernal. I have 2 new pictures for you to see from today.

Robyn

New Phone

Exciting news. Grandma has a phone in her room. Please call me for her number!!! She usually is busy with lunching in the morning and therapy as well as lunch around noon and dinner at 5:00. So she may not be there when you call.

She as an appointment with Dr Reber, the foot surgeon at 1:30 today. I will attend with her and post what he says. So check back later today for an up-date.

We watched the Jazz last night until halftime. Mother didn't think they would pull it off. I need to call her to see if she finished the game and if she knows who won. If any of you want to give her a call, you can see if she finished the game.

The Weekend

I see that I have not up-dated the blog over the weekend. Friday was a busy day for me. I was short handed at work so I just visited mother after work. I had so much fun watching her eat. She was in the cafeteria with another resident. They both were so funny complaining about the food. It was all I could do to keep from laughing.

That evening I returned with Kathy. Saturday we watched the Jazz Game together. Mother's spirits were wonderfull. She seemed to me to be back to who she was before the accident. She can now use her right arm and hand. It is somewhat limited but she can use it to feed herself. She has no swelling that I could see in her hand or arm. Sunday while we visited I called Mike and he suggested that we check her left foot to see how that looked. It was swollen quite a bit. I had the RNwrap and take care of it. I also told her therapist to help her with that.

She attended an LDS sacrament service Sunday. She said it was only 40 minutes long. But at least she got to take the sacrament. Also Bill JR, Denise and Family were here. They visited Grandma.

Richard visited Saturday and gave her a milkshake. She loves ice cream!

Gladys form Ghana

Gladys is one of Grandmas Nurse's at the care center. She is the best! She is always helpfull and has a great smile. Good Work Gladys.

Watched the News

Kathy, I and Anne visited with Grandma last night. We took her clothes to her. We hope she can now get out of the hospital attire. We read out of Alma 5 and commented about verse 15 ".....Do you look forward with an eye of faith, and view this mortal body raised in immortality, and this corruption raised in incorruption......." Mother laughed about her body being corrupted. We watched the news and had family prayer. She seems like she can use her right hand more.

Fruit Smoothie

I just got back from visiting Mother. She is doing very well. The swelling is down a bit in her right arm and hand. I took her a fruit smoothie, strawberry and banana. She liked that. Kathy showed up just as I was leaving and is there as I type this.

Settling In

4/15/10 10:14am

Just a little bit of an up-date. Mother is settling in fine. She has her good moments and bad as can be expected. Yesterday I stopped by at noon to check on her before I went to a Chamber luncheon. She looked depressed. She was just sitting all alone in her room in a wheel chair staring at the wall. I wanted to take her outside or just visit but I had to leave.

At 3:00 Kathy and Anne stopped by to be with her. Kathy reported that mother was doing just great. She would talk and smile. At 5:00 after work I stopped by to see her. She was in bed. I helped her with her dinner. She had turkey noodle soup, some beets and crackers. The therapist wants her to feed herself but without the use of her right arm it is hard. She eats with her left and is a bit shaky. As she brings the spoon to her mouth the soup spills on her napkin. I stayed with her for about one hour.

At 7:30 I came back to watch the Jazz with her. She had the TV on to the Jazz and it was very loud. She was asleep. I woke her, we watch the Jazz but she seemed out of it and would drift off to sleep. At half time I left to go home. She asked me “what temperature is it?” What she wanted to know was the score.

I visited with her briefly this morning at 9:00. She was with Ty Wakefield her therapist. He works with her every day. She was using special straps to aid her in standing up. It is especially hard because she is only using her left leg.

This will be the best for mother. I just couldn’t believe how good she was doing. She smiled at me and we laughed sarcastically at how well she was doing. She was not complaining of pain or anything. She was just doing what they asked.

I think I will get a blog put together so everyone can go in and see pictures and updates.

Trip to Mesquite

4/14/10 10:20am

I think that I spoke to most of you yesterday but here is what happened.

At noon Nevada time I received a call from the RN at the hospital indicating that Mother would be transferred to the care center in Mesquite within the hour. I immediately jumped in the car and headed to St George to be with her. I arrived at 1:30.

Mother looked much better than when Greg and Bill were with her. The stroke that affected her facial muscles on her right side showed no evidence that she had a stroke. She looked good. Her pain and discomfort was a different story however. She was suffering beyond anything you could imagine.

I spoke with the nurse and requested something for pain. She was preparing a syringe to put into her IV. I wondered what she was thinking because they had removed her IV sometime before I arrived.

She said “oh I forgot she doesn’t have an IV anymore, I will get it in a pill form”.

This was at 1:45. At 2:00 I asked to find out where the pain med was and was told that she was waiting for a Dr’s order. I wondered how she was willing to give it to her in an IV but could not dispense it in a pill form without a Dr’s order.

Anyway at 2:45 she finally received a pain pill. Through all this the care center was about one hour late. At 3:00 they finally showed up. They tried to move her but Mother refused. She was still in too much pain. The care center had another patient to pick up so they when up to the second floor to retrieve that patient.

After they left, Mother needed her bed pan so I left the room while they helped her with that. Finally at 3:30 they had her loaded in a mobile chair (it looks like a recliner but with wheels).

I really don’t have words to describe how hard this all was. I wondered if Mother should be leaving the hospital. She would not respond to much when I spoke to her. She would just look off into space. She would cry out in pain when moved. Her will to live was gone or that is what It looked like to me. She didn’t want to face the trial that awaited her. It was so hard for me because I couldn’t do anything about it but just try to offer her comfort.

At 4:00 and after lots of pain getting her on the lift in the van, we were on the road headed to Mesquite. I followed the care center transport van home. It was by far the longest dive I took back to Mesquite. I’m not sure if it was the speed of the vehicle or just worrying about mother. I could see her in the large back window of the van. She appeared to be sleeping.

At the care center I had my doubts what to expect with the way mother was responding to this ordeal. I wonder if she would have the will to get better.

After getting her settled in and in her bed, things changed just like turning on a light. I met with her therapist who happens to be my neighbor, Ty Wakefield. He thinks she will recover from the effects of the stroke well and will regain the use of her right arm. Mother told him that she wants to get better, get out of bed and walk.

I fed mother some dinner. After that she perked up and was able to carry on conversations and smile. She seemed reasonably happy.

I don’t have a phone to her room but I will work on that today. She is in room 409. I will let you know more as I get her settled in..

Gregs Report

4/11/10 8:26pm

VeAnn and I spent Saturday afternoon through 10:00 PM with Grandma. We stayed with Robyn last night and went back to the hospital at noon today and stayed until 2:30 this afternoon. She slept most all day yesterday but woke up wide awake a little after 8:00 PM. She was very alert when we left at 10:00 PM last night. The stroke has left her speech slurred but she comprehends quite well and knew who VeAnn and I were. When we got to the hospital today we were greeted with grandma sitting in a chair by the bed. It was so good to see. She had a little fruit and pudding for breakfast. For lunch she ate a little of the spaghetti, peas and carrots. The doctor visited with us today and said the biggest concern with stroke is the ability to swallow. It looks like grandma has no problem with that. She does have a long way to go but we are optimistic that she will continue to improve. Bill and Sharon will be with her through tomorrow. Mike is trying to arrange his schedule to visit with her sometime this week. When I talked to Sharon just a few minutes ago she said Robyn had been up to visit before they arrived this evening. Bill said that Billy will be in the area for a few days this Wednesday and wants to visit Grandma. What ever family visits and calls to the room can be made will help speed her recovery. The caution is to call at a resonable hour. She may not be able to answer if a family member isn't there so let it ring a few times and if it isn't answered, try later. Greg.

Mother still Asleep

4/9/10 4:17pm

I just called the Nurse’s Station….Mother is still out of it. She has not been awake since the surgery. The nurse reported that she tried to wake her for a drink of water but she just wanted to sleep. The nurse thinks that later on this evening she will be coherent. I wouldn’t try to call her….but if you want you can call the nurse first and find out her status. If she is awake the nurse will transfer the call to her room.

See x-ray

4/9/10 4:03pm

Here is what moms leg looks like after the surgery. On the left side of the x-ray is the small fibula with a plate. On the right is tibia. You can see now how much was involved to put her back together. Her bones are very soft. He had to use soft bone screws as well.

Robyn

Mother in Room

4/9/10 11:25am

Mother is now in her room…..she is asleep. I will let you all know more after she wakes up.

Robyn

Clarification

Clarification. After reading my e-mail I wrote that “the fibula has 8 screws…..What I meant to say was that the 8 screws are screwed into the plate to attach it to the Fibula…. I will provide a picture as soon as I can.

Robyn

Out of Surgery

4/9/10 10:38 AM

Mother is out of surgery. The surgery went well. She has 1 screw on Tibia and a plate on the Fibula. The Fibula has 8 screws to attach it to the bone and she also has one long screw that runs vertical through both bones to add stability. She is now in recovery and is expected to return to her room within the hour. The Dr wants her to began her therapy in 2 weeks. We expect her to be discharged on Saturday but it could also be as late as Sunday.

I have arranged for extended care with Highland Manor here in Mesquite. Highland called mothers supplemental insurance with Combined and they will pick up the co-pay portion with Medicare up to 100 days. I will get the phone numbers for her room after she is admitted. We had hoped that Highland Manor could transport her to Mesquite but they report that it is hard to get a driver on the weekend. I will transport her as soon as she is released.

I will keep you posted with any new developments.

Robyn

Mothers Fall

4-8-10 @11:47

As you know yesterday was a very hard day for mother. I tried to speak to most of you to give information as soon as I could. Because of all that was going on I would give some details to one brother and not to another. So I will summarize the events of the day for you. Sorry if all this is a repeat of what you know.

At approximately 2:00am, Mother got out of bed to use the bathroom. Upon returning to her bed, she lost her balance and fell on her right side. She hit her head on the floor and twisted her ankle. She made attempts to get up off the floor but could not.

She told me that some time around 3:30am she decided to call out to get someone in our homes attention. She said that she began calling “Anne…..Robyn…..Kathy. With no response. At 4:00am I was awakened by her yelling “help-me……..help-me…….help-me………help-me……”.

At first I was slow to respond thinking that Kathy was yelling at Anne to get up for school. As you know Mothers bedroom is on the other side of the house so her cry sounded like Kathy calling for Anne. I awoke, discovered Kathy still in bed and then looked at the clock. It was 4:00am. I ran into her room and found her on the floor. Kathy came in behind me and helped me get her off the floor and into her bed.

At 7:20 Mother called my cell phone because she could not get out of bed. I guess that this was easier than yelling for me to come into her room. I went into her bedroom to find her still in bed but unable to get out to go to the bathroom. It was all I could do to get her out of bed to the bathroom. She said her right leg was really hurting.

I called Kathy at work and asked her to help me with Mother. When she came home she helped get her out of the bathroom.

At 8:00 we got her some breakfast and then at 8:30 I gave her a priesthood blessing. By 9:30 we loaded her in the ambulance to Dixie Regional Medical Center. I had considered transporting her to our hospital here in Mesquite but we just don’t have the specialists needed for the kinds of problems Mother could have as a result of her fall. As it turned out, this was a good decision.

At the ER x-ray showed two fractures on the Fibula (small lower leg bone) and the Tibia (large lower leg bone). See attached x-ray. Dr Reber with Coral Desert Foot and Ankle happened to be at the hospital when we arrived. He reviewed her x-rays and agreed to take her case. He reports that he will pin the break on the Fibula and place a wire on the fracture on the Tibia. The surgery will be sometime on Friday. I will keep you posted. Coral Desert also has an office here in Mesquite.

After the x-ray they placed a splint on her leg to keep it in place. The person that did the splint told me that he would set it so it would not hurt. The way he set it I think was not the best position because she still complains of pain. Mother is also experiencing pain in her back as she always has and now her leg really hurts. She is receiving pain meds at this time.

After the surgery Mother will not be able to walk for 6 weeks and will require a rehab care facility. I am looking at the one here in Mesquite called Highland Manor and I have submitted a request. I will keep you posted. It will be May before she can return to Vernal.

That is what I know for now. I will visit with mom this afternoon and I will let you know about the time of the surgery and the where she will go after that.

Nicholas and Grandma

Taken before Surgery

Grandma's Broken Leg

Both x-rays are of same leg and foot just different angles.